Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
