There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
