Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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