On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
