Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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