OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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