Three words: puerto rican gang bang
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
