I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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