So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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