We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
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I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
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I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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