Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Less talking, more tequila
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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