Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
