A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
MIDGETS
????
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
