I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
