I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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