Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
