Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize