can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize