i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
