hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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