the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
