i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
