apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
