He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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