we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am available for nakedness
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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