Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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