i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
