I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
