Cold hands, warm shart.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
