it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
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he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
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Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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