we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
