Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
you win again, gameday.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
