just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
