She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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