just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
