I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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