I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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