He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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