I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
