I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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