Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize