She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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