WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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