And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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