Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
