just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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