How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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