Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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