So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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