I hate your face
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
There r osticjed everywhere
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
