All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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