He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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