Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
