he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize