you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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