everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
My balls are so social today.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
